Just Messing Things Up

So you guys remember when I said, that I actually find this whole thing funny?
I do not anymore. It really is just so messed up, and I’m making it worse ever since. I just can’t stop thinking about him, about the really short time we spent together, and about what we might just have had.

So why don’t I just text him and tell him about how I’m thinking about us try again?

Because I still don’t know why I don’t really feel anything thinking about him. And even when we were together and I told him I wanted to be his girlfriend, I didn’t really feel anything, now that I think about it.

And I’m afraid I might go back to him, ask him to try again and then screw things up all over again. And I like him, so I really don’t want to hurt him again. Because think about it, he already told me he loves me, so how hard must this be for him?

Can someone please just tell me what to do? Probably give me some really good advice?
Or probably better not. Because honestly? I feel like I really need to figure this out by myself.

Hello Everybody, Come on in!

My life in the past 24 hours:

Thursday Evening: I was meeting the guy I was dating at that time. We hang out in my car for a while, talked, made out, things you do when you’re dating. 

Till he asked me, if I want to be his girlfriend. I said yes. (I mean I’ve already thought abut it and it felt right and he’d be my first boyfriend)

And then guys, and believe me I’m being 100% honest, he said, he loves me. (How long we were dating? Uh, already about 6 months (Kidding, like 3 weeks?)

Well by this time I was already thinking „Huh this is going quite fast but I’ll just try it and see where it’ll take me.“ Better not.

Thursday Morning: 

Official and The Realest Chat:

    

12:26                Wie geht es dir?  (How’re you?)

                  

12:28                Gut und dir?         (Good, how’re you?)

12:43                 Auch gut.             (Good)

Wow! We were like the cutest fresh couple EVER!

After we’d decided to go to the movies instead of watching a movie at hs place, because „when we watch a movie we might be to tempted to do God knows what hahahaha“ 

he took back saying that he loves me.

Well I told him, that I feel like we were rushing everything a bit to much, so yes all of a sudden he didn’t love me anymore. (I don’t really think that you can take back these words, do you?)

And after that:

13:54                Everything can be taken back, And I just took that back too. So just forget what we said yesterday ok! 

And my relationship status went from „In a relationship?“ to „So single“ faster than you can say You kidding me?

   So guys, the end of this thing is we’re not even dating anymore, because he felt that it might be the best for the both of us to end this whole thing here and now. And honestly? I didn’t deny it. Guess it was just everything a little bit to much and to fast and my feelings just to undiscovered.

But its okay. I actually think its kinda funny. Maybe the reason why I’m telling you about this. This is so my life and its okay the way it is.

                

For the record, I think this was the shortest, not-really-official relationship ever in history. But I’m really thankful for this experience, thanks to you, my first not really but also more than any other guy yet, boyfriend, I love you, too.