Just Messing Things Up

So you guys remember when I said, that I actually find this whole thing funny?
I do not anymore. It really is just so messed up, and I’m making it worse ever since. I just can’t stop thinking about him, about the really short time we spent together, and about what we might just have had.

So why don’t I just text him and tell him about how I’m thinking about us try again?

Because I still don’t know why I don’t really feel anything thinking about him. And even when we were together and I told him I wanted to be his girlfriend, I didn’t really feel anything, now that I think about it.

And I’m afraid I might go back to him, ask him to try again and then screw things up all over again. And I like him, so I really don’t want to hurt him again. Because think about it, he already told me he loves me, so how hard must this be for him?

Can someone please just tell me what to do? Probably give me some really good advice?
Or probably better not. Because honestly? I feel like I really need to figure this out by myself.